Damn so much has changed since the last blog post / journal.

Anyways welcome back to my pointless blog posts where I yap for hours and hours about random shit I'm interested in with absolutely no structure at all, just whatever pops up in my head, so if you don't like that format go read another blog or something I guess.

It's 17th of February 2025, the last blog post was posted on the 20th of September 2024 and it was my post on "Should you switch to Linux?".

Leaving Discord and basically every other social media has really paid off. That might come to a shock to you because I've never mentioned anything about this in my previous blogs... welll... I actually did mention it, I just ended up not releasing it on the platform....

Journal 2 - Rambling and Figuring out the way forward.

...but wait... you know what, I'll post a big snippet of that unpublished and incomplete blog post here:

Also do remember this is pretty old and outdated hence different state to where I am at the moment.

--so this is how it starts--

Ranting ahead! I've been trying to write a 2nd Journal for 4 months now, each time I write, I give up or when I do complete it I just end up...

being too embarrassed to publish it but I'm once again making a promise to myself that this one will get published no matter what.

Hi, you already know who I am so there's no need for any introduction but just like last journal I'm gonna give you a warning:

This is gonna be a post that I advise you not to confront me with please. These posts are gonna be something I write once then publish, no correcting, refactoring or going back. You may start seeing a different tone or different side of me in these type of posts. If you are not comfortable with this type of content please just stop here and skip these type of posts.

If you haven't read my last journal go read it as you may miss out on context. Also again this is a journal, so expect literally nothing structured and listen to me ramble about the most random shit I guess.

Actual journal I guess.

I'm currently sitting here listening to Caesura by Sonicbrat and my Flower Field Spotify playlist as I write this. Do give my playlist a listen though.

Since my journal number #1 I've learnt a lot about myself, I've figured out how to improve my productivity and I've figured out how to destroy it. I've also figured out how to become successful and how to become unsuccessful. Deep inside I know what to do, I know what I'm capable of, but instead I fuck myself over because it's easier to put in no effort and just sit down and let the YouTube / Tiktok / Instagram algorithm feed you content then eat, sleep and repeat.

I have so much to say about algorithms and content on YouTube that it'll make this markdown file 1 GB in size blog post really long, so I guess I avoid going deep into this topic?

Anyways like I mentioned, since last journal a lot has happen (I went on a mini hiatus, content has shifted direction on my YouTube channel and so on) but I think most of that can be funnelled down to me figuring out what's good for me and what isn't, what helps me succeed and what is a waste of time. I'm learning to find my priorities, sadly this means most of you will probably begin seeing less of me over time on platforms like Discord. During my mini hiatus I noticed how I was able to get so much more work done, I was able to focus more on individual projects. Suddenly programming started to turn more into an Art, than just another task; I was able to give my projects more love I guess.

uhhh, where I ranted about social media

If you know me, you'll know that I've been leaving and reducing social medias all my life.

When I was 13 (first high-school year), I pretty much got my first usable smart phone (as in a smart phone that could actually access the internet sanely). Pretty much all the kids at my school had social media platforms such as Snapchat and Instagram, I installed them both and twitter and the rest came at a later date.

Today I don't have any of these anymore, deleted them all.

Instagram was supposed to be my communication platform for people around my age who didn't have Discord or didn't like using it but every fucking time I opened that app I just ended up doom scrolling an endless stream of random slop content that I didn't really have the initial intention to watch.

Snapchat was just useless to me and weird. Why the hell would I want mfs seeing my current live location; honestly sounds like a disaster of a feature especially when many minors are on the platform but that's a talk for a different blog. Anyways the rest of Snapchat features didn't really appeal to me pretty early AND "IT'S BASICALLY JUST ANOTHER FUCKING INSTAGRAM TYPE CHAT APP" I thought at the time back in 2016, so I stopped using it early.

Twitter is a place you come to if you want to loose brain cells and fight with brain dead mfs. I honestly don't really have business there, and twitter ended up having the same Instagram problem but this time just damaging my brain (mentality, and no that isn't a joke). Fucking shit platform. Deleted.

YouTube is no longer the platform where we search and find the content we want to watch, it's now the platform where YouTube finds what we should watch and you'll probably click it because it does all sorts of dopamine activation oooh nice colourful clicky clicky I must click shit to your brain. The colourful application icons on your phone alone get's all sort of brain chemicals firing in your brain to want to click it, now YouTube is a different level of that.

Tiktok is the worse of them all. It's so bad I don't think I even need to explain it. Deleted.

I hope you get the message, time and TIME again I've been getting fucked by social media platforms, time and time again I've been dropping these "social" applications.

--end of that blog--

As you can see that one was incomplete, I just couldn't bother to finished it but nevertheless I hope it opened your eyes to some stuff I guess.

Journal 2 (yes just "Journal 2")

Next unpublished blog, this one was also supposed to be a sequel to my first journal.

--it starts here--

This is gonna be a post that I advise you not to confront me with please. These posts are gonna be something I write once then publish, no correcting, refactoring or going back. You may start seeing a different tone and different side of me from now on as these posts will be coming directly from my heart.

⚠️ Warning: If you are not comfortable with this type of content please just stop here and skip these type of posts.

Hi, it's me again back with another one of these posts. I'd you're confused read the beginning of my last post like this so you know what you're getting into. Please do or else you'll be confused.

It's midnight again, precisely 2:08am. I've realised my last post should have been named journal instead of diary as that's what these actually are. Anyways status from the last post, not much has changed unfortunately, I still feel pretty hopeless; I just wanted to update you guys with another unstructured midnight ramble whooo hooo.

Sometimes I just need to get shit out of my brain and goldy.exe blogs is where I dump that shit out my brain.

I'm at it again, looking out my window into the midnight sky. Whenever I do this it's like I've hit reset on my mind, it's like a snap back to reality card that has unlimited amounts of usage. Despite me being in a city with lots of lights, I can still see the stars and they are fucking beautiful. Now imagine living in the countryside or at a small village in africa you would see dozens; if I'm already close to shedding tears now imagine how I would be in this same state at a more countryside area.

Every night I stare at the stars and listen to that whistle of the wind I instantly remember that I've been looping that same song in my playlist. That song of: wake up at 12 o'clock, YouTube, YouTube, procrastinate, procrastinate, work on project, procrastinate, work on project, procrastinate, end of day, more coding, sleep. Even when I reflect about my fucked up patterns I end up falling into that loop again.

Have you guys ever had a goal you wanted to achieve but when you go and try to achieve it, you end up just forgetting about it, making 0 progress. Well my entire life revolves around that, once again it's like a song that is stuck on loop in my playlist, the playlist being my entire life and the songs being achievements when they have finished and the next song starts. They're like life's problems or tests you have to pass to go to the next stage (the next song in the queue).

--final blog ends here--

Welp that's it I guess. I have more but none of them are written, they just contain bullet point notes. It was really hard for me to push this out, so I hope it really did get you re-thinking about things.

Anyways like I said at the start, I'm in a different state now. I've learnt a lot about myself and everything else life has to offer. One day I'll properly return from my hiatus and I'll be back to big time open-source develpment.

This is Goldy, I unfortunately still use Arch Linux, my Lenovo laptop collection has grown, I have some amazing upcoming projects and peace out. 🫡